Finding God Again
I grew up with a very emotionally abusive and later on, horribly physically abusive mother. My real dad was in jail since I was a baby, and I had a stepfather that I never felt took a place as a father. I was constantly put down daily by my mother and two sisters about how I was worthless and I should kill myself. This all started by the age of about 8. My mother had a deep hatred for me because out of my three sisters I resembled my father, the man she hated the most. I began cutting at the age of 9 and hid it for years before my mother used it to her advantage to make people feel sorry for her. I tried committing suicide thousands of times and even begged God to let me just die after he had saved me numerous times from my own destruction. After I no longer felt His presence in my life due to my deep depression, I forgot Him for years and wandered down an even harder path. On my 18th birthday, my mother kicked me out. My boyfriend of 2 years at the time took me in with his family and let me live with them. I was still in a dark place of not accepting or believing in God at this time as I had felt he had forsaken me, and I couldn't understand why he would leave me with that woman. My now fiancé's mother began to bring Christ into my life again. She never forced it or pushed it on me, but the more I watched her in her faith, I began to see God again. Even after fighting it, I began to see Him little by little again. After I became a mom a year ago, I realized God gave me my daughter to help my heart heal again and to show me how to love again, since I had lost a lot of those normal things. Even though my mother still wants nothing to do with me or my daughter and our family, and I still have times where I feel upset because I'll never have that mom or dad to run to for love and understanding or help, but I've finally realized within the last year that Christ is my family and my father that I've never had. He has never forsaken me, and I have honestly felt Him so strongly in my life ever since. Every time I listen to WBGL in the morning, it gives me that moment to feel like God is speaking right to me. WBGL has truly helped me so deeply in my faith and has helped heal a lot of my emotional wounds from my mother. Thank you all for all you do! God is great!!